Sounds like Sark can't teach him what he needs to know in order to succeed in the NFL. (Frankly, I don't think anyone can.)
The talking heads mention that Ty Simpson got drafted because he knows how to read a D. So maybe bammy would be an option.
There's also Northwestern, which would be hilarious.
I think going to LSU or Ole Miss would just be more of what he's done for the last 3 years.